You know the campaign is almost over when...

... eBay's featured items are Cabbage Patch candidate dolls. I knew something was missing from this big, beautiful world, but I didn't think it was this.

Sarah Palin, the big winner in the auction (but likely not the election), is currently priced at an unbelievable $9,800 - almost the cost of one of her designer suits!

Fortunately, 100 percent of the proceeds go to the Marine Toys for Tots Foundation. According to the accompanying eBay page, "Each is fashioned in classic ‘Kid™ style to resemble the U.S. Democratic and Republican candidates for President and Vice President. These are the only ones of their kind in existence and are available only on eBay. Own a piece of history!"

Sadly, I'm going to have to pass. Our dire economy leaves me a bit short this month for five-figure, 1980s-throw-back dolls.

But I can't help noticing that while Palin and Obama are very identifiable, McCain and Biden are virtually interchangeable. You know how it is... those old, white, balding guys... they all look alike. ;-)

Happy Election Day Eve, gang. Curl up with your Cabbage Patch doll and get some sleep. Tomorrow night we'll be up late watching campaign results - and truly witnessing history.

Another Great Depression?

Four dollars for a gallon of milk? Almost $50 to fill up my VW Beetle? And today there is a report that Thailand, like the rest of Asia, is restricting rice exports like OPEC limits sales of oil thereby driving up prices, increasing food shortages, and guaranteeing starvation.

I don't know about you, but this is horrifying. Someone needs to do something! But who is in charge? George Bush, the lamest lame duck of all time. Mr. 28-Percent-Approval-Rating has nothing to do but dance - over and over again. You never see Bush give a policy speech; the only reason he makes the news is because he struck some lame dance pose.



We're also victims of an unending presidential primary. I am not advocating for the coronation of Barack Obama; like Hillary, I think the votes for Florida and Michigan should be counted (how can it possibly be constitutional or morally right otherwise?).

But I don't care who wins at this point, as long as it is a Democrat who will get us out of Iraq in the next ten minutes. Why are we wasting billions of dollars on a horrendous situation we cannot change? We need an international Serenity Prayer here, people: God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The only thing we change change is ourselves. Bring those dollars home. Now. So we can buy oil and rice.

Jesus, I'm depressed. Yes, this is the Great Depression. We should all be depressed.