Last pug post for a while - I promise

No more pug posts after this one, I promise. But my brother sent me this adorable video this morning and I can't resist.

For folks who are unfamiliar with the ubiquitous pug head tilt, let me explain. The head tilt, which occurs when you offer these muzzle-free dogs alluring goods or services, empirically proves that pugs actually have a working brain. This is important because when they're not tilting their heads, they're sleeping. Or eating. Or whining. That's it.

Check out this trifecta of pug head tilts. It's a complete hoot.

Me dog is a lazy wanker

Moose, my beloved pug, spent his childhood with three exceptionally sedentary cats and therefore learned to do little more than sleep and eat. Twice a day, he opens one eye, yawns, stretches, and then asks impolitely to be let out to defecate. If you don't believe me, the following delivers incontrovertible video evidence. Don't worry... it's just the sleeping part of the above equation.



I was okay with my Rip Van Winkle dog until I saw an amazing border collie named Gin compete on Britain's version of "American Isle." Although this pup cannot speak (read my previous post), she certainly gets up and boogies, making herself the British female equivalent of John Travolta. Gin, who is clearly a brilliant dog, was trained by her equally talented and only 16-year-old owner, Kate. You've got to see it. Watch. And smile.

Canine chatter

You thought dogs couldn't talk? Baloney. I present a new talking dogs video, along with my all-time favorite, Odie the Pug, who lovingly squawks "I ruv roo!"

Too broke to croak? Call Costco

Looking for a way to trim funeral expenses this holiday season? Need some serious savings on Fido's urn? Or next-day delivery on that copper-colored casket? Then call Costco.

You know we're in an economic downturn when Costco starts peddling funerals. No, this isn't a joke or a skit from Saturday Live. This is America 2008 where you just can't afford to die.

Like the Washington Post's we-watch-so-you-don't-have-to TV column, I present the bottom line on Costco's funeral supplies:

• Currently, caskets can only be purchased from and shipped to addresses in the following states: Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming. (Too bad, Marylanders and Virginians - no service for you).
  


• A casket ordered for expedited delivery will arrive by 5 p.m. (your local time) the following day (Monday-Friday, excluding holidays). Unfortunately, expedited delivery is NOT available in all areas, so it's best to put Grandma on ice for a few days.
  


• Acts of God, weather-related conditions and states of emergencies can delay delivery beyond the stated delivery parameters. In other words, be prepared to keep Grandma on the aforementioned ice for a couple of weeks, just in case.
  


• Costco.com will only accept returns of caskets due to freight or cosmetic damage from shipping. Can't change your mind, kids. Better agree on Mom's casket now because otherwise you've got one huge, creepy coffee table to fight over.
  


• Most importantly, Costco wants you to know, and I quote here (including the capital letters): "THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS." Ashes to ashes, dust to dust - the ultimate act of God. Sorry, Costco offers no guarantee that in 2000 years, some inquisitive antropologist will be able to dig up your sorry ass.

I'm a big proponent of cheap funerals. I'd much rather see all that money go to some good cause - as the case may be.

But when it's time for me to leave this world, I hope my heirs won't be so desperate as to go funeral shopping at Costco. Instead, just give my body to science. It'll save you a pile of dough and hopefully do some good for this world, too.

It should have been Chuckie T

As a near-constant-devotee of MSNBC, I was devastated when Tim Russert died suddenly in June. My boyfriend called me when he heard the news because he knew I'd be beside myself - and I was. Tim Russert can never be replaced. Ever.

Tim left some very big shoes to fill at NBC News in general and at Meet the Press specifically. There has been much speculation about the heir apparent to the Peacock throne and apparently the king-elect is David Gregory. He is expected to replace guest host Tom Brokaw in the coming weeks.

I like David Gregory. I even met him once at a Rockville restaurant. At that point, he was the White House correspondent who did weekend fill-in gigs on the Today Show. When he and his wife and three young kids came into the crowded cafe. I recognized him immediately. First, he's got that fabulous head of white hair, and secondly, he's about 400-feet tall. You couldn't miss this guy if you tried, which is probably why NBC selected him.

Gregory stood impatiently waiting for a large enough table. Who could blame him - trying to keep three little children happy and quiet is no easy task. I called over my waitress, relinquished my large booth to his family, and moved to a smaller table because it was a nice thing to do. But I was also agog because he was a broadcast news celebrity - literally the top of the gene pool in my little world.

After I moved to the smaller table, David Gregory came over, smiled that huge smile, and thanked me for my generosity. I was transformed instantly into a simpy school girl. Gushing the gushiest gush of all gushes, I exclaimed, "Oh, I just love you on TV!" ACK!!!!! GAG! Going gooey over David Gregory is one of the top five greatest gaffes of my life. I'd do anything to take it back, anything. I was so... nauseating!

So much for my brush with a news celebrity.

But back to my original point. If I was Queen for a Day at NBC News, I would tap Chuck Todd as the next host of Meet The Press. I am a true Chuckolyte (and yes, that's the term - see Viva Chuck Todd and Chuckolyte if you don't believe me).

Andrew Tyndall at the The Huffington Post describes Chuck Todd this way:

NBC's political director is no smooth, sophisticated on-air presence--but neither was Russert when he took the job back in 1991. His call of Campaign 2008 has been exemplary throughout the primary season so he obviously has a spot-on sense of the political pulse. The public policy and foreign policy aspects of Meet the Press would be unchartered territory.

Chuck's down-to-earth, real-guy persona is indeed Russertesque. This explains his appeal. He's not the 6'5 gorgeous and perfectly coiffed David Gregory. Todd is imminently watchable because his love of politics, his zest in being on the ground, in the numbers, figuring it all out - just like Russert. If Chuck Todd whipped out Tim Russert's whiteboard, no one would be surprised. It would just seem right.

Todd presents as an apparent non-partisan, just like Russert. We may guess that these two journalists harbor liberal feelings, but they didn't show. On a network filled with big-personality opinionators like Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann, Todd offers balance and needed bipartisanship.

Chuck Todd is young and new, which is why NBC News won't select him. It would take vision and courage to choose this new guy to take that great old guy's place. NBC News once had mucho cajones - that's why they picked Russert. But now they'll take the safe route and crown David Gregory.

What a shame. If Tim were still here, he'd be the leading advocate for Chuck Todd. For this and a million other reasons, it's too bad Russert is gone.

Destiny Calls "Lost"

Destiny calls! Finally!

After spending half of 2008 watching every episode of "Lost" with my boyfriend, Tom and I now breathlessly await the series return on Wednesday, January 21. (ABC, Channel 27 in DC, 8:00 - don't miss it!)

The fifth season sports a new tagline: Destiny Calls. This apparently refers to the Oceanic 6 - Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, Sun, and Aaron - who despite being rescued 108 days after the crash, heed their fate and return to the island. How this is possible, I don't know, because among other things, the island miraculously disappeared last season.

The series trailer also shows Kate and Jack getting engaged (and married?) and raising Claire's son, Aaron. It looks like Jon Locke is alive and well even though he purportedly committed suicide last season (thank God... as a middle aged mamma, that dude is HOT!). And of course, the evil Ben is back another season to torture and manipulate everyone, especially Jack.

Don't know about you, but when destiny calls, I answer. I'm even going to coerce my brother into getting my Tivo working so I don't miss a single episode (why doesn't ABC put Lost on OnDemand?!). When he comes over, maybe he'll lend me his Season 4 CDs - the set goes on sale December 9 just in time for Santa, of course - so I can rewatch last season and remember every significant - and insignificant - detail. Because honestly, how can you tell the difference?

I am certainly glad "Lost" is now found. I'm looking to rediscovering that island - and taking a season-long vacation with the Oceanic 6 and the rest of the gang.

America screams "DUH!"

Word comes today from MSNBC that the United States is now officially in a recession and has been since December 2007. America (or me anyway) wants to scream back DUH!

As I've been saying all year (read My Great Depression about Delusions of Grandeur and Another Great Depression), America has been greatly depressed - not even recessed! - all year. Finally the numbers prove what we've all known for a while: our economy just sucks.

However, despite all the dreariness, there is a bit of good news:

• This weekend, I spent only $24 to fill up my Beetle. This is a damn sight better than the almost $50 I was spending weekly a few months ago.
  
  
• People went shopping this weekend and spent $25 more this year than last, although I'm sure profits are significantly less. Retailers simply slashed prices. On Black Friday, I spent my morning at Office Depot so I could buy a fabulous HP printer for only $25. Five years ago, I bought a fancy HP color printer and spent nearly $500. Now an even-better printer cost me just 5 percent of the original purchase price. Woo hoo! (But what is ridiculous is that HP charges $35 for just one of the four print cartridges needed to run my printer. We know where HP is making its money - and it ain't in hardware.)
  
  
• My business is busy. I've closed several new clients in the past couple of months - something I feared wouldn't happen in the downturn. But smart business owners recognize that they must spend marketing dollars when times get bad rather than doing what the less informed do: slash marketing budgets. I am grateful for the new business and pray that it lasts.

The stock market is down today by over 650 points, but I'm immune to its fluctuations. We're living in an amusement park (that's not very amusing) with a huge roller coaster. It goes up, it comes down. Whatever. Go find throw a softball at the milk bottles or have the barker guess your weight or buy some cotton candy. Watching that damn roller coaster will make you nauseous.

I'm sure the market tanked today with the official word that we're in recession, but let me say it again: DUH. This isn't remotely news. It's just the angst we live with every day.