Rick Sanchez obliterates Joe the Asshole

Three cheers for CNN's Rick Sanchez who uses his own personal bully pulpit to stand up to Samuel Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Plumber aka Joe the War Correspondent aka Joe the Biggest Asshole on the Planet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BE0rc2aZpc

So once again, let me say: Flush Joe the Plumber!

Yet again: flush Joe the Plumber!

I won't waste my words. This speaks for itself: ASSHOLE!

From today's Washington Post
Meet Joe The Reporter
Tuesday, January 13, 2009; Page A13

Samuel Wurzelbacher, best known as Joe the Plumber, is reporting from Israel these days as part of his new gig for a conservative Web site, Pajamas TV (http://www.pjtv.com/).
Wurzelbacher did a stand-up next to a large pile of rockets fired from Gaza into Israel and offered this interesting take on what journalists, such as himself, should do.

"I'll be honest with you," Wurzelbacher said in his video analysis. "I don't think journalists should be anywhere [around] war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what's happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I-I think it's asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you'd go to the theater and you'd see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for 'em."

Didn't know he was that old. He continued: "Now everyone's got an opinion and wants to downer -- and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers. I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you're gonna sit there and say, 'Well, look at this atrocity,' well, you don't know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it."

Read my previous rants on this asshole: Flush Joe the Plumber Part Tres, Flush Joe the Plumber Part Deux, and Flush Joe the Plumber.

Joe the Plumber, Part Tres

I possess a long and unwavering record regarding Joe the Plumber: I can't stand him. He sadly (for me anyway) never learned the lesson about 15 minutes of fame. Andy Warhol said that everyone will get a quarter-hour of renown. If that's the case, Joe the Plumber is long past his expiration date.


Joe the Plumber announced he was considering running for Congress during the height of his fame. In a Capitol riddled with bozos, Joe the Plumber would most certainly be the biggest clown of all. Fortunately, the election ended and the related circus wound down. We never heard from Joe the Plumber again.

Until yesterday. The Washington Post tells us:

Joe the Plumber is aiming to become Joe the War Correspondent. John McCain's campaign sidekick Joe Wurzelbacker told Toledo's WNWO-TV he'll spend 10 days in Israel reporting for a conservative Web site, pjtv.com. "Being a Christian, I'm pretty well protected by God," he said. "That's not saying He's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance."

Uh, Joe? Maybe you hadn't heard? But God is not a condom, and certainly not a custom-made one just for you. God is also not a shield, an invisibility cloak, nor a bulletproof vest. More importantly, God doesn't love you because you're a Christian and He doesn't hate Arabs because they're not. You, sir, are a complete numbskull. (Imagine my best Joe Scarborough imitation while you read that last line.)

The only numbskull bigger than Joe the Plumber are the knuckleheads at pjtv.com. What does pjtv stand for? You got it: Pajamas TV! (The marketing consultant inside me violently shudders at this dreadful name.) According to the website, Pajamas TV is "a network of about 100 bloggers that covers news and issues of the day in a refreshingly thoughtful and civil way" - or in other words, it's a bunch of conservative blowhards who agreed to be on a dumb website called pjtv.com. Which is, of course, why and how Joe the Plumber got hired at all.

Let's wish him godspeed and safe trip and then let's never talk about Joe the Plumber again. Considering I've blogged about this guy three times now, I guess the embargo should start with me. Sounds like a great New Year's resolution, but let's hope he doesn't tempt me by doing something really dumb. Sigh... fat chance of that, huh?

Flush Joe the Plumber, Part Deux

Unbeige today reports:

Politics aside, there's one name/phrase we hope to never have to hear or talk about ever again (which will hopefully be the case after this post). That, of course, being "Joe the Plumber," the absurd moniker of one Joe Wurzelbacher, who is a plumber. As you may have heard during the battle for the White House, Joe was busy trying to stretch out his temporary fame by writing a book. Now that book is available for pre-order ..."

The name of this heralded tome? Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream.

Let me get a few things straight. First, Joe the Plumber isn't really named Joe; his name is Sam. And he didn't write this book either. A "spiritual novelist" named Thomas N. Tabback penned this stinker.

Finally, how exactly has Sam the Perpetual Fame Seeker fought for the American Dream? By creating a truly dreadful website that, for the nominal fee of $14.95, lets you sign up for the "Freedom Membership" which has the following "benefits:"

• Total Access to "Joe The Forum" where you may chat directly with Joe
  
• Subscription to the "Joe The Blog" monthly newsletter
  
• Free Shipping on all "Joe The Plumber" merchandise
  
• Free Signed Copy of Joe's forthcoming book "Joe The Plumber" - Fighting for the American Dream (Paperback slated for release December 1, 2008)
  
• Become an integral part of an American movement to restore our government to the people

Know what I would like to do? Become an integral part of an American movement to restore Samuel Wurzelbacher to complete anonymity. I hate JTP so much, I won't give you the link to his book. And please don't go look it up. I can't take another 15 seconds of this dude's excruciating 15 minutes of fame. As I said in my last JTP rant, it's long past time to flush Joe the Plumber.

Flush Joe the Plumber

On Tuesday, we will vote for our next president. I strongly encourage you to vote for whomever you choose - just be sure to vote.

I also urge you to join me in impeaching Joe the Plumber. We need to unilaterally send this guy back to Ohio to fix toilets. In support of my argument, I present the following evidence:

• Joe the Plumber lied about his name. His real moniker is not Joe. It is Samuel Wurzelbacher.



• Joe the Plumber is not, as he lied to Barack Obama, considering buying a plumbing business in Ohio. In fact, he's not even a licensed plumber.



• Joe the Plumber would not suffer under Obama's tax policy which proposes to raise taxes on those who make over $250,000 a year. In fact, Samuel the Unlicensed Plumber made only $40,000 last year, and the company for which he works made only $100,000. Therefore, both Wurzelbacher and his boss would actually benefit under Obama's tax plan.



• Joe the Plumber announced that he is considering running for Congress, despite the fact that Ohio has an outstanding lien against him for $1,182.98 in back taxes. (I don't need to state the obvious, but I will: in lacking experience, education, wisdom, good sense, and humility, this would-be emperor is buck-ass naked.)



• Joe the Plumber, flush with his instant fame, yesterday hired a public relations firm to handle his many requests for interviews. (The real question is: why does the press continue to talk to this nobody?)



• Joe the Plumber, despite his fervent political aspirations, yesterday announced he is pursuing a country/western music contract. (If he sings as well as he spouts tired Republican talking points, Nashville is in real trouble.)



• Joe the Plumber today received John McCain's unending gratitude despite the fact that Wurzelbacher stood him up at a campaign event. When Wurzelbacher didn't appear, John McCain urged the crowd to give his favorite plumber a hand "for all that he has done for this country." (WTF?)
  
  
  
• Joe the Plumber made his presidential endorsement this evening, telling ABC News that in terms of his vote, "It’s going to be for a real American. It’s going to be for a real American, John McCain." (As compared to the real American, Barack Obama, who was born in Hawaii? Perhaps "real Americans" have to be born in the lower 48?)

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case. The fact of the matter is, Joe the Plumber's 15 minutes were up two weeks ago. I urge you to push that lever on Tuesday. Not the lever in the voting booth, but the one that will now and forever flush Joe the Plumber from public consciousness! Or at least mine.